where awkward private thoughts become public knowledge.

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I told him that I love him
And he just looked away
I sat there sinking in the silence –
What more could I say?

If I could turn it off I would,
this painful beating heart;
Faltering at a touch or glance
Jumping hard to start.

And so resigned to fate am I,
this trouble that I’m in.
I’d weather every pang and ache
to waste my time with him.


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Was that girl in the mirror sad?
She looked so much like me
Then shards of glass flew at my face
With lightning breakneck speed.

Is it just an illusion, my confusion setting in?
I never seem to see the darkness starting from within.

I tried to hold tight to that golden rope
Should have lifted me up with my hopes.
The wind is picking up and I’m getting tired –
If I could climb up to the top
I know I’d make this feeling stop.

At first it made sense to climb
It really seemed worth it this time.
The lights, they’re fading into dim
Just like dusk is setting in.
Why was I so open? all the words I spoke and
The way I let myself let you in.

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It’s Sugar.

Uneven pavement, cracks and all;
the sidewalk is no safer than the street.
It’s a shoulder-push into the road
and then an immediate grab for the hand.
Repeat, repeat, repeat.
A promise not to ever leave you alone,
to keep each other safe,
even when sighs and tears punctuate fighting words.
And then it’s you telling me to do just that –
in no uncertain words, to leave you alone.
I want to tell you what it feels like to be separated from
the light you leave in the air where you’ve been.
I want to tell you that I can still feel your breath on my neck.
As you are walking off alone,
I want to tell you that the tufts of grass coming up through
the sidewalk cracks are kind of beautiful, and resilient,
and I’m planting myself with them until I hear you calling me home.